I did not drink yesterday Sunday, last night I made it to 8 pm and then drank five White Claws in two hours. Seven hours later, I woke up sick and anxious, I took 2 Klonopin and 2 Zofran, and now im worried my Klonopin wouldn’t last through the month; assuredly it won’t, if I keep up the drinking,
why am I drinking is the question? I had such a commitment and drive at the beginning of the month. and then summer vacation began and the kids are out of school. there are 73 days left of being engulfed in kids’ life, cleaning and organizing the chaos, just to have the wake swirl into chaos again. Few fought-for moments of solitude, that are interrupted too soon.
On the other hand, 73 days of my kids’ faces, which I love and like most moments. Moments I will yearn for decades from now.
I am feeling overwhelmed, house improvement will do that,
but I have a home that can be improved, a goal of my life,
I have two beautiful kids, and I was fortunate enough to stay home with them,
and experience their joy and growth, another goal I set for myself and achieved.
So why am I running to this escape from this life by drinking? I know the truth about alcohol and its similarities to the tobacco industry. I know all the long-term and short-term health effects.
I can’t turn my head in ignorance. I have to stop.
im trying, im practicing, im growing in the right direction, lessening bad habits.
I want it. I want to quit. Without being an anti-alcohol zealot, as with tobacco and sugar and corporations, if I did become a quit lit zealot. I can inform the public health community about these dangers, I can change the advertising industry around alcohol, using tobacco as an example.